Adventures In Crackelot
by xCeruleanAngelx
Summary: In a land of crack at a time of madness, the sanity of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young prince... His name, Arthur.
1. Feline Frenzy

**A/N - I've always thought that it would be really fun to do a crack!fic series, so here it is! Arthur is going to be the main protagonist for this story, or in other words, the only sane person in Camelot. This won't be a bunch of completely pointless one-shots with people shouting about pie or ****some other random thing (honestly, it bugs me to death when people do that!), it's actually going to have a REAL plot. ****So, hopefully you all enjoy it, happy reading! :)**

A series of pitiful meows woke Arthur from his sleep,

"Merlin!" More meows. "Merlin!" the prince opened his eyes to find his manservant stroking the belly of a tiny cat-like animal. Several other similarly featured creatures were scurrying busily across his floor,_ 4, 5, 6, 8,_ he lost count, there had to be at least a dozen of them. "Merlin, what the on earth are they?" he asked, sounding a bit alarmed.

"I'm not quite sure, I found them outside the castle this morning, aren't they cute!" he held one up for the young prince to see. Arthur backed off, he was suspicious of these furry little aliens, _they could be deadly._ "I was thinking of calling them kittens."

"Kittens? What kind of rubbish name is that?" Arthur exclaimed.

"I think it suits them." Merlin retorted, sounding a bit hurt. The prince rolled his eyes, _I don't know why I put up with that idiot._ "Can I keep them?" the manservant asked softly.

"I don't care what you do with them, Merlin, just get them out of my chambers!" The servant grinned gleefully and gathered the little bundles of fluff up into his arms. Arthur shook his head, he hoped that these 'kittens' would at least distract Merlin enough to keep him away from the tavern for a couple of days. But then again, that would be harder than trying to keep Leon away from his beloved crossbow, or Gwaine away from apples, himself and the other knights had tried both, let's just say it didn't end well. He sighed as he pulled on a shirt, _this is going to be a long day._

"Ah, Arthur, I take it you've finally decided to join us?" Uther said, smiling at his son.

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, father."

"None sense, we had these lovely kittens to entertain us." Arthur stopped dead in his tracks, had he heard right? With one swift glance around the room he saw that all the council members were holding one of Merlin's hairy little friends. One of them rubbed up against his leg, making a horrifyingly dreadful noise that sounded like it was preparing to devour him. Arthur jumped on top of the council table,

"It's going to eat me!" he screamed.

"Don't be a dollop head, Arthur! It was only purring." Merlin informed him.

"Purring?"

"Yes, that's the noise they make when they're happy."

"Well of course it was happy! It was about ready to gobble down a royal feast! These kittens will be the death of us all!"

"Arthur, they're harmless, I can assure you." Uther smiled, petting a small orange kitten. "I think I'll call you Mr. Cuddles!" Arthur felt sick, he had to get out of there. Out in the hallway, he met Sir Leon and Gwen. He sincerely hoped that they hadn't bitten into the madness of these horrid kittens.

"Have you seen the miserable little creatures that Merlin-" he stopped, certain that he had heard a meow. "Oh, no!" he panicked. "They're following me!" In an attempt to rush past his two friends, he found himself face to face with one of the fuzzy kittens. It was snuggled happily in Gwen's arms, purring contently. Arthur let out a bloodcurdling scream as the kitten's pink snake-like tongue darted out of it's mouth and brushed up against his face. Gwen stared after the terrified prince,

"What the matter with him? It's only a kitten." Leon nodded in agreement, stroking a kitten of his own,

"How could anyone be afraid of something so adorable?"

Arthur sped through the halls as fast as his legs could carry him. With a loud thud, he slammed his chamber doors shut and bolted the lock. He grabbed a sword off the table and dived underneath his bed, prepared to defend himself against the flea-bitten monsters that had invaded Camelot. Upon hearing a knock on the door, he jumped, hitting his head against the bed's wooden frame.

"Arthur?" It was Merlin. "Can I come in?"

"No! Stay away! I don't want anything to do with you or those monstrous kittens of yours!" The manservant laughed,

"They aren't evil, Arthur. They're actually quite friendly." The prince crawled slowly out from underneath his bed, made his to the door, undid the lock and cracked it open. Merlin peered into the room, carrying a kitten in his hands, he held out the cuddly animal for Arthur to examine. "See, they wouldn't hurt a fly." The prince gave the little the fuzzy feline a thorough inspection before daring to pick it up.

"Perhaps you're right, Merlin..." Just then, an entire legion of rampaging kittens flew around the corner, charging straight at the young prince. He screamed as he ran, a herd of gallivanting fluff balls at his heels. "MERLIN!"

**A/N - Feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think. Ideas would also be very much appreciated!** **:D**


	2. Luau!

**A/N - Here it is... Chapter two of Arthur's Adventures In Crackelot! :D **

**I must warn you that there is a great deal of overly crazy Uther in this chapter, prepare yourself! Hope you enjoy seeing the insane ideas that go through my mind each and everyday! Love you all! :)**

Arthur awoke with a pained groan. His arms and legs were positively covered with scratches and bite marks from being pummeled by thousands of fluffy kittens the previous day. He had made sure that Merlin was severely punished with a weeks worth of polishing for introducing those wretched creatures into Camelot. The prince sat up in his bed, he was certain that something important was happening today, but what? Arthur scratched his head in confusion, trying to rack the forgotten detail from his mind. The door opened with a loud creak as Merlin popped his cheery head in,

"Good morning!"

"Is it?" the prince grumbled, throwing himself back down on the bed. A sudden burst of light from the newly opened curtains flooded the room, leaving Arthur virtually blind. Merlin gave his master a confused look,

"Of course it is, it's your birthday!" The prince smacked his hand to his face, that's what he'd forgotten. The manservant proceeded to talk excitedly about the days celebrations, apparently Uther was holding some big, elaborate feast in honor of his son's birthday. After reluctantly eating a suspicious-looking birthday breakfast that Merlin had prepared for him, Arthur headed down to the council chambers to speak with his father about the evenings celebrations. A rush of lively tropical-sounding music, played by unseen musicians, greeted the prince's ears as the two towering doors were opened. His jaw dropped at the horrendously shocking sight before him. The knights were sporting the ugliest flower-print shirts Arthur had ever had the displeasure of seeing; the alarmingly bright, pink flower leis did not help. Morgana flashed him a friendly smile before turning back to Gwen who was identically dressed in a floor length grass skirt with a yellow, button-up top. The most shocking sight to be seen however, stood upon the throne at the front of the room. Arthur watching in horror as his father swayed back and forth to the catchy, Hawaiian music, arms flapping back and forth like a bird just learning how to fly. The king had no sense of rhythm or timing whatsoever, making his feeble attempt at 'dancing' all the more awful to behold. Just when the prince thought that things couldn't possibly get any worse, Uther ripped off his scarlet cape to reveal a grass skirt of his own, far shorter than ones dawned by Gwen and Morgana. The yellow tops were replaced by a very authentic looking coconut bra, held together with nothing but a thin twine. A basket of assorted fruits, seeming to come out of nowhere, found it's way on top of the King's regal head, replacing the golden crown that had once held it's place. Arthur's jaw dropped all the way to the floor, he doubted his mouth would ever close again. Everyone cheered vigorously as the king continued his badly choreographed dance routine, the prince could only stare in horror, unable to avert his eyes from the terrible sight before him. Once the king had finished his performance, he skipped over to meet his son,

"How did you like it, Arthur? It took quite a bit of preparation to pull the whole thing off but I think I did quite well." It took the bewildered prince several moments to register that he was being spoken to,

"Er-ah... Yes-I mean no! Um... It was a-uh...pleasant surprise?" Uther clapped his hands together gleefully,

"Wonderful! I'm so pleased to hear that you enjoyed it. I have a few more numbers I can perform if you like?"

"No!" Arthur shouted hurriedly, he had seen enough of his father's dancing abilities to last him a lifetime, a couple lifetimes to be more precise. "I mean...I wouldn't want to trouble you." The king quickly assured his son that it was no trouble at all and began to make an eager beeline for the throne. Arthur was quick to stop him,

"No, father, I think there has been quite enough dancing for one night." Uther looked up at him with big, brown puppy dog eyes, silently begging for a second performance. "How about you explain this thing to me?" Arthur asked, gesturing to the entire party. The King's eyes lit up instantly and the saddened expression faded from his face,

"It's a Luau party!" The prince tossed his father a look of confusion. "You know, one of those Hawaiian themed parties?" Arthur shook his head, he honestly had know idea what his father was talking about. His attention was drawn to a large glass container filled with water that had made a mysterious appearance in the banquet hall; it held several large fish inside it. Uther squealed like a little school girl, "The dolphin rides are here!" Arthur scratched his head, _dolphin rides?_ The king turned back to him, a childish gleam in is eye, "I thought that the pony rides were getting a bit tiring so I invested in some more, exciting entertainment." With that, Uther scurried off to get in line for a dolphin ride, grinning happily as he went. Everyone watched in awe as the king mounted the gray fish and sped off across the crystal water. The prince shook his head at the overly enthralled crowd, he was beginning to think he was the only sane one left in this kingdom...

**A/N - If you're still reading this then you've managed to survive my craziness, congratulations! *applause* :D**

**Please take the time to leave a review, they make my day! Also, ideas for future chapters would be much appreciated! :)**


	3. A Hoppin' Good Hunt

**A/N - Hey, guys! I'm back with another insane adventure of our favorite pompous prince! :D I know it's been a while since I last updated and I apologize for that! I guess life just decided that I needed a break from writing for a while, lol. Anyhow, I decided that since I've already done crazy Merlin and even crazier Uther (I honestly don't know what got into me on that one, Uther in a grass skirt is something no one should have to witness! ...Not that it's gonna stop me from doing it again, MWAHAHAHA!) that I needed to give some one else a turn. So today's insane character is...*drumroll*...everyone's favorite knight...SIR LEON! XD **

**Happy Easter guys!**

Arthur was pulled from his slumber by the sound of his father's voice. The prince dived under his blankets, still mortified by Uther's birthday display three days before.

"Arthur, get out of bed!" the king commanded. "We're going on a hunt!"

"A hunt?" the prince exclaimed, leaping out of his bed. He hurriedly put on a pair of brown trousers and threw a dark blue tunic over his head. He bounded out of his room with a cheery smile, skipped down the halls and into the courtyard. _Finally_, he thought, _just an ordinary day of hunting._ Little did he know that would be one of the strangest hunting trips he would take in his entire life. His smile dropped into a confused frown as he gazed at all the people lined up outside the castle gates. The whole of Camelot must have shown up for the hunt, if that's what it really was.

"Merlin!" Arthur hissed as the serving boy passed by him. "What on earth is going on?"

"Didn't your father tell you? We're going on a hunt. Happy Easter, Sire!"

"Happy what?" Arthur exclaimed, pulling a hand through his hair in annoyance as he realized that he wouldn't be getting an answer. "Someone's definitely mucking out my horses tomorrow..." he muttered angrily as he watched Merlin skip happily away. A flash of color caught the prince's eye, he quickly bent down and picked up the shiny, pink, egg-like object. "What in the five kingdoms is this?" he asked, directing his question to no one in particular.

"Arthur, put that down!" Sir Leon scolded. "It's not yet time to start." With a shrug the prince placed the oblong object back on the ground. He noticed several more of the egg things scattered across the courtyard in a beautiful array of color.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Uther announced from the castle balcony. "We are gathered here today to participate in Camelot's first annual Easter egg hunt!" Arthur raised a brow and turned to Sir Leon who was literally bouncing off the walls in anticipation.

"We're hunting eggs?" he asked, his tone heavily coated with skepticism. The knight gave a vigorous nod before continuing his personal hopping fest. A bouncing curl found it's way over to the prince, hitting him promptly in the face. "Ow!" Arthur shouted. "Keep your hair to yourself, Leon!" Immediately the knight stopped jumping, he looked at Arthur with big, sad, puppy-dog eyes, his lip quivering like a child who'd just had their favorite toy ripped from their fingertips.

"It's ok, Leon." said Gwen. Arthur jumped backwards in surprise. _Where had she come from?_ "Here, I'll braid your hair so it won't get in Arthur's face again." The prince watched as the maid practically climbed up the knight's back to reach his hair, it was quite an amusing feat if he said so himself. In mere seconds all Leon's honey curls were pulled back into a neat French braid. The knight quickly stuck his tongue out at Arthur, then proceeded with his little hopping ritual. Before the prince could react to the knight's very improper tongue-sticking-out behavior, Uther's voice was heard loud and clear throughout the courtyard,

"You may begin hunting... NOW!" Before he knew what was happening, Arthur found himself face to face with the ground. He lifted his head just enough to see the stampede of people that put him there rushing across the courtyard, gathering eggs as fast as they possibly could. In less than a minute all the eggs had been hunted down, leaving none for the pummeled prince who still lay impaired on the ground. Leon rushed up to him, a devious smile pressed on his lips,

"Haha, Arthur! I got more eggs then you! Loser!" the knight began to dance victoriously around the prince, still grinning devilishly. Arthur was tempted to grab the knight's eggs and throw them in his face, but Uther interrupted him before he could do so.

"Arthur! I trust you had a successful hunt?"

"Uh-" the prince began but didn't get to finish.

"Come now, how many eggs did you get?" the king asked, a proud grin on his face as he was certain that his son, being the great hunter that he was, would have collected far more eggs then the rest of the egg hunt's participants.

"Well, uh... None..." Immediately Uther's grin fell into an angry scowl. His face grew dark and his eyes narrowed as he glared furiously at his son,

"You're dead to me." With that the king turned and made his way back into the castle. Arthur heard Leon snickering behind him,

"Wait till I tell Gwaine and Percy!" Arthur was about to ask Leon why he had suddenly referred to Percival as 'Percy' but then decided that he probably didn't want to know. With a sigh the prince turned and began walking towards the castle, preparing himself to make amends with his father for his egg-hunting failure.

**A/N - So what did you guys think of the 'hunting' trip? Any guess as to why Leon has suddenly ****decided to call Percival 'Percy?' Should I have it explained in future chapters? **

**As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. And if any of you have ideas, let me know! Seriously, I don't care how stupid you think it is, it could be a tea party with fluffy pink teddy bears for all I care (hmmm... I might use that...lol). Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Love you all! :) **


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